FutureLife

What was I thinking? What is my life? What am I going to do about it? What is the problem with me? I have been thinking so much.. What I really want in my life? I can’t stay my whole life as a PCA (Personal care Assistant) no matter what I have been through. I know God is still there for me. I have pray for it and God always answer my prayer. I’m asking God can I really do it, can I really be a staff nurse? Here comes the chance again. At TSH, I have drop out because I have fail then got into Segi College KL drop out again because of my own problem. I cannot handle it. Can I really be a missionary? I was asking my aunty why I wan to go for missionary. I also dunno why I have been asking myself can I really do it. My aunty told me because I love god so much that’s why I want to go for missionary.

The problem now I have to retake my BM, still have to go and take my BM. Cannot run away from it. Looks like I’m trying to run away from problem haiz…

Yesterday I went back to QHC medical centre to take my stuff. I saw Angela, Christina, priya , nithay and eeranee. They all ask me how is my studies, what can I say I just say ok lol. With not all of them will ask me to work there. Good thing, Christina helps me. Is very wrong to lie. I’m so sorry Lord that I have lie. I really don’t want to lie but really no choice.

Segi College… my friends all miss me. They want me to go and visit them. They also say any time also can visit. What to do I don’t have time. Same as TSH. Thanks Lord. At least I know that they are still people appreciate me.

What is my life going to be? Lord I hope I can take the stress. I know I have drop out and God u are giving me a chance to do it. The Columbia Asia wants to sponsor me to study. Is a sign from u rite?

Sorry lord. Forgive my sin. I know that sometimes I really did very wrong. That’s why this year I want to serve u lord with all my heart. I want to commit myself to u. so no matter what I am going to join the Christmas for this year. Lord I hope no changes for me this year. Is enough for it. I don’t want to change plan already just for this year.

Please Lord; help me to feel comfortable in cell group. Recently like I’m having a bad mood doesn’t know why. Izzit the people there should be lol… I seldom go cg and how to be part of cg. Recently only I commit myself in it. They just don’t understand me. No body can understand me is okay. Help me to do what should I do..