Release everything to the Lord

In this world
Nobody understand me at all
I want to be protector
No protection at all

As times come
I felt scare
More and more problem
Is this a challenge for me?

Lord, Are u testing me
Are u helping me
To solve problem
My life I just want peaceful

Why can’t be peaceful
This earth is going evil
Does the world know that?
My job is not done yet

I know the world not going to end
Until I finish my task
What is my task?
Be a missionary nurse

What is a missionary nurse?
Some say tell others about Christ
Half of it is correct
That’s not all

I want to help the sick
By praying
I’m still afraid to pray for others
I need to work on it for my braveness

I wan to go all over the world
People always ask about do u have BF
For me, I don’t think they will accept
How can they accept the gal go all over the world

Dear Lord, as u can see that I’m working very hard at Columbia. Sometimes, not that I wan to complain. I just wan to let it out. I am the person who doesn’t want to keep the problem inside my heart. The more u keeps the more we will get crazy bout it. I don’t wan to go into depression. I’m a nurse need to know how to take care of our feeling. People will always use me but I don’t really bother about it. I’m use to it. They always put me in charge of the whole ward for observation. Is very stressful for me and they give it everything for me to do. They think I’m a super robot. Sometimes I really cannot handle myself.

I need someone to be there to understand me. Hannah do u understands me? You know me very well. If I work means I work my best as in I work very hard even eat also don’t have time. I just feel very unfair to me. When I sit down, they say I’m free no work to do. When other PCA (personal care assistant) they just do nothing and yet they didn’t say anything. One day, I’m busy doing everything I just ask a PCA as in ward aid to help me to take water she say I’m rude to her. What did I do wrong? I didn’t even ask u to walk up and down or help to do observation is considering very good already. Just need to take the flask to put water also so difficult. They can make noise then I also can make noise that observation is not my job. How can people be like that? I just told the person that if u doesn’t wan to do I will do it myself. She said “oh no, I came to work also one”. I work so hard and they can just relax is so unfair to me. Some more can say that I handle the whole ward. Stressful until they also don’t know about it. What I know is they only care about themselves. Oh Lord, when is December? I wan to leave this place very soon. They can just leave everything to me. I know is good that they trust me but I’m very stressful. Worst then study if I may say so myself.

Some people who understand me they say if one day I leave this place I really don’t know how are they going to survive. They depend on me so much sometimes. What I can say I’m the only one ho work the best and very hard working. The sisters also can see one cos they told me. I though they don’t know thanks God for it. At least they are people who understand me and appreciate me.

I’m hungry for God. I’m desperate for u Lord. Needed to be free from it. Help me LORD to release my sadness, angriness cos all I can do now is depend on you lord.

Father Lord, I wan to pray for Hannah that helps her to remember the things that she read. Help her in the exam not to forget anything but confidently to answer. Show her the miracle way. Pray for Florence Lord hope she can get her ticket to come back to Malaysia save journey. Hope that there wouldn’t be any problem cos she really trusts u Lord for everything. I can see that she is really very strong Christian. Help me Lord to release everything that I feel bad bout work. I just wan to leave everything cos I know u r there to help me. thanks lord for everything. I believe in miracle always it does happen to me. thank u lord in Jesus Name Amen.