Psalm 139

Psalm 139
This is my verse for today it speaks through me. Thanks Lord.
This few days a lot of thing happen to me. After came back from s happen always there is a purpose but what is the purpose? I don’t get it.

My head (sister) in the hospital. She says I don’t complain unless she asks me. So far, I don’t complain to her because I have learn that if I complain it means that you don’t like God’s plan or even blame God. I can feel it always there is a reason. I just can’t do it to complain. She ask me to let it out but I can’t this is my attitude. Something, I really do complain but to my friends or family only.

I just want to let it out here. I don’t think I will complain unless I have to do it. These people even new staff nurse also a bit of lazy not a Muslim also like that. I’m really not in the mood. Some more on medication because I got sore throat, flu and so on. Although, I have to do observation and I done all. Therefore, I still have to do collect tray food. I also help Mollie side to put up drip, give hot water. They didn’t appreciate some more ask people to answer call bell. They themselves so free and sitting down on the counter. Can’t they just move and walk around. I think I am considering very good already today. I just can’t stand it almost want to say something but yet I keep it to myself.

Lord, what should I do? Should I tell Sister Ong? No use telling Sister Penny, she only cares about herself and she don’t bother. All she says is write letter or something like that. I want to release it Lord. I dunno what else can I do? All I can do is depend on u. I feel very tired and a bit of angry. Lazy to say already. Just want to cry out to u Lord.

Father Lord, pls help me to control my temper, I really don’t care what are they going to think about me. I have to do my job until done. As long I have done my job. I have done my best. Other people, they don’t know Never mind. Because I know that God’s understand me. He understand what I am going through. Lead me the way Lord. Help me Lord to be different from others. I want to be a better person. Sorry Lord, pls forgive me if I have done wrong. I know I’m a sinful person but forgiven people can go heaven. Thanks Lord, in Jesus name Amen.

Lord Lead me the way, I know is unfair in this earth. I’m tired of it already. hope someone understand me but I know God understand.ya. I want to release.

Just started work the feeling

Today started work after 5 days off. I am so not use to it. I still want holiday. The people which was the??? because of Puasa so not in the good mood. you know !!! nevermind forgive them. I want to leave the place faster. One of the Tung Shin came and work also.

I miss camp. I can’t wait to go next year. I am looking forward to it. Glory to God. Thank you. Be different is a wonderful thing.

When I tell my Aunty melody and my grandma about I want to be a missionary. They seen to be saying something not so good. They say will be suffering from food and suffering. They just don’t understand that we will suffer from this world and we wouldn’t suffer in heaven. If we don’t suffer in this world, I think might be suffering in HELL. They are more on thinking about money. Money cannot bring to heaven but ur heart and soul will be bringing. Oh Lord , please let them understand me.

P.O.D Camp 2008

Thank you Lord for given me an opportunity to go for this camp. (Point Of Difference). Before I go camp, I have pray this prayer Father Lord this time the title is Point of Difference for this camp. I really want different in me happen. I just want to left everything to u to work through me. I want something to meaningful for me. so that I will always remember. I will let go all my worry and my pass for u. In Jesus name Amen.

I really work very hard to go for this camp. Is worth it that everything I have done. The message really good the words of god really touched my heart. One thing, I have learn was have faith is not a hope but is confident. Well, always in worship time, I feel like crying. Thanks Lord I know that u have touched me, feel me and know what is happening in my life. I know that life is challenge but because of God I need to go on and serve the Lord. I believe in you Lord. I love our puchong cg is great. I have never felt that our puchong is so close just like a family ,brothers and sister. I’m so glad that I join this puchong cg. This puchong cg have teach me a lot, encourage me a lot. I’m also glad that I when for this camp. I know that wherever I go there is always a purpose for it.

Those who when for camp isn’t it great? Is awesome. There is a purpose for each of us. Hope u guy and gal enjoy it.

This verse for this year camp
2 cor 5:6-7
So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. that is why we live by believing and not by seeing.

This is the 1st time I celebrate Merdeka in Genting as in Peaceheaven. We are not just enjoying ourselves there but pray for our nation as in our Malaysia. We also pray for our leader and all of us who is there with me. It was great. Really nice to meet new friends. Thanks you Lord.

To believe

I have been thinking about it
And I have decide to go tomorrow to register
I really hope this is the right thing I’m doing
I’m scare but Lord
Help me in everything
Let everything to go smooth
My target is a missionary
Even I know go mission is not easy
I know I will suffer
I wiling to go and do it
Heaven is the best place
I want everybody to know about God
However, how am I going to tell others?
Lead me the way Lord
The only I can do
Trust in the Lord
I believe in you

dreams

Oh Lord, here I am again
More of u Lord
I’m feeling lost again
I wonder what is camp going to be
Seen a bit lost of people
Less people joining
Everybody seen to be very busy lately

I’m sorry lord that I didn’t go church
I really can’t go because of work
I hope to go to learn more gods’ word
Missionary is not easy ok
My dreams Lord
With not why am I on earth for
Therefore the job is for me
I must fulfill it with all my heart
Stop asking me that r u going to do it
Are u going to study nursing
YES!!! Because of the Lord
I don’t care do I have boyfren a not
I go for mission I think single is better
No need to worry too much
I know the Lord will take care of my family
All I need to do is to trust God
Work my very best for it

Someone told me that someone in the hospital that he / she want me to work permanent in this hospital as a personal care assistant (PCA). I really don’t know what am I thinking. Don’t know whether to feel happy or sad? Actually a bit sad like want me to work as a PCA the rest of my life then how am I going to fulfill my dreams.

Mission is my target

Father Lord, I am really thinking to go and study. The next intake will be in November should I go or wait until 2009. what should I do lord. Somemore sheena is coming in December though of celebrate with my family for this year. I don’t think !!! what is this? Is this what u want for ur life. U know what u want and everybody is supporting u and yet u trying to give up. What is this? Remember what u want to do for the Lord have u forgotten about it? Can I really do it? Even Dr. support me such a wonderful thing happen to me. I’m glad that happen to me. Such an experience for me.

Help me Lord !! I want to go for November been tired being a personal care assistant but work like a staff nurse help me lord to have good result.. I want the license to go for mission.

Thank you Lord

Wow, now a day I become a translator. DR Jurina always looks for me. It is great that someone appreciate me for something different in life. Thanks god because given me a chance to help people I feel that I’m doing something great. I really feel that life is a miracle. At first, I though nobody cares about and yet I have explain what the Dr wants to tell patient about their condition. The patients say thank you Dr. so I told the Dr that the patient say thank you. Then amazing that the Dr say no I must thank you because you are the one who explain the correct way. I’m so thankful. Oh lord; I really know what is give then to receive. This verse always reminds me that to care for others then yourself. Those who don’t know must start doing it the right way. U did a great job, people will appreciate u.

Lord, I understand that why u have put in at Columbia Asia. Sometimes, I will be asking am I in a right place? What should I do here? My job is not done yet. I will still continue to serve u the way it is. What is right I have to do the best? I know what my life to be. I’m still close to the lord. Muax.. thanks Lord. The patient should thank u.

Remember sumitah always

Life will go on
Time will pass on and on
Friendship is always there
As long we always remember

No matter where u are
I will always remember u
I am very happy
To know u as a friend

Remember to choose the place wisely
Every place will have different
People, things are different too
Wherever place u go be the best

Remember me ya
I’m a very special girl
Does u want to know why?
I’m grateful to know u
Not easy to know a friend like u
Muaxx

My friend in Columbia asia is living already. I really dunno what to say. I can only say I will miss her a lot..

Release everything to the Lord

In this world
Nobody understand me at all
I want to be protector
No protection at all

As times come
I felt scare
More and more problem
Is this a challenge for me?

Lord, Are u testing me
Are u helping me
To solve problem
My life I just want peaceful

Why can’t be peaceful
This earth is going evil
Does the world know that?
My job is not done yet

I know the world not going to end
Until I finish my task
What is my task?
Be a missionary nurse

What is a missionary nurse?
Some say tell others about Christ
Half of it is correct
That’s not all

I want to help the sick
By praying
I’m still afraid to pray for others
I need to work on it for my braveness

I wan to go all over the world
People always ask about do u have BF
For me, I don’t think they will accept
How can they accept the gal go all over the world

Dear Lord, as u can see that I’m working very hard at Columbia. Sometimes, not that I wan to complain. I just wan to let it out. I am the person who doesn’t want to keep the problem inside my heart. The more u keeps the more we will get crazy bout it. I don’t wan to go into depression. I’m a nurse need to know how to take care of our feeling. People will always use me but I don’t really bother about it. I’m use to it. They always put me in charge of the whole ward for observation. Is very stressful for me and they give it everything for me to do. They think I’m a super robot. Sometimes I really cannot handle myself.

I need someone to be there to understand me. Hannah do u understands me? You know me very well. If I work means I work my best as in I work very hard even eat also don’t have time. I just feel very unfair to me. When I sit down, they say I’m free no work to do. When other PCA (personal care assistant) they just do nothing and yet they didn’t say anything. One day, I’m busy doing everything I just ask a PCA as in ward aid to help me to take water she say I’m rude to her. What did I do wrong? I didn’t even ask u to walk up and down or help to do observation is considering very good already. Just need to take the flask to put water also so difficult. They can make noise then I also can make noise that observation is not my job. How can people be like that? I just told the person that if u doesn’t wan to do I will do it myself. She said “oh no, I came to work also one”. I work so hard and they can just relax is so unfair to me. Some more can say that I handle the whole ward. Stressful until they also don’t know about it. What I know is they only care about themselves. Oh Lord, when is December? I wan to leave this place very soon. They can just leave everything to me. I know is good that they trust me but I’m very stressful. Worst then study if I may say so myself.

Some people who understand me they say if one day I leave this place I really don’t know how are they going to survive. They depend on me so much sometimes. What I can say I’m the only one ho work the best and very hard working. The sisters also can see one cos they told me. I though they don’t know thanks God for it. At least they are people who understand me and appreciate me.

I’m hungry for God. I’m desperate for u Lord. Needed to be free from it. Help me LORD to release my sadness, angriness cos all I can do now is depend on you lord.

Father Lord, I wan to pray for Hannah that helps her to remember the things that she read. Help her in the exam not to forget anything but confidently to answer. Show her the miracle way. Pray for Florence Lord hope she can get her ticket to come back to Malaysia save journey. Hope that there wouldn’t be any problem cos she really trusts u Lord for everything. I can see that she is really very strong Christian. Help me Lord to release everything that I feel bad bout work. I just wan to leave everything cos I know u r there to help me. thanks lord for everything. I believe in miracle always it does happen to me. thank u lord in Jesus Name Amen.

About my work

What is this man?
What I want to do?
I really don’t know
Why life so difficult for me?

I know that whatever I do
Is for the Lord
Somehow thinking turns
This is life that always turns

I try to do my best
And yet is my fault
What is my problem now?
Can I let it all out just like that?

Today, I’m working morning. I’m supposed to work evening because of nana taking leave that is why I’m working morning. So, I have to take care of Ward as usual. There people just like to do what they want. They can just relax. For me, I work so hard and yet get scolding from matron and some other people. Sometimes, working no point for me at all. I feel like resigning already. I just want to be peaceful. Why can’t just be peaceful for me. Why am I suffering like that. Oh lord. I can only trust you. What should I do? teach me dear Lord.